This week’s gospel provides us with a lesson that could be well heeded in our contemporary world. Matthew relates a discourse on dealing with a grievance or sin between two ‘brothers’ – community members; fellow disciples. Matthew advises his audience that the first step is to try to resolve the matter privately between the offender and the one offended. This is a practice that seems to have almost disappeared today. When one person feels offended or hurt by another, it seems the last thing they do is to go and speak to the person, confront them with the hurt and try to resolve it. Matthew advises that, only after a failed attempt to address an issue face to face, should other members of the community become involved to further confront the offender. There is a very strong message of reconciliation that comes through this process, the whole process works towards bringing the community back together in harmony, not to seek revenge and punishment.

It can be very difficult when we feel that someone has hurt us to actually go and speak to them about how we are feeling. It is so much easier to revel in our hurt or seek payback for the hurt. Sometimes we feel that we might ruin a friendship by speaking to our friend about a way in which they have hurt us. But a hurt that goes unaddressed will continue to hurt and will probably be repeated. This week’s gospel reminds us of the need to challenge our friends when they hurt us but it also reminds us that when we have hurt others we need to be challenged about it and called to account for our actions.